Life is full of choices. We either consciously choose to live or subconsciously our mind & body make decisions for us based out of the programming we have obtained throughout our lives. Whether good or bad it does not matter. (It’s not about good/bad, right/wrong or black/white, it is just about the whether we are consciously living life or subconsciously living through the program life has given our mind & body.). At the end of 2016 I made a choice to take a risk that would lead me to the other side of the world. I decided that I was tired of living within the subconscious programming of my life & I needed to jump off the cliff of comfort which was becoming a very complacent place for me. I felt lost in a life that was programmed for me out of the fear to stand on my own & truly trust life to be as I dreamed it could be. I could dream all day & night about adventure but my mind would tell me why that could not happen so I would not move forward. I was waiting on some divine revelation or sign to show me the way but I see now that I was truly just afraid to jump. I was truly afraid of the unknown that was on the other side of that jump.
2017 has already seen me in America, Indonesia, Singapore, & Malaysia with many more places to go. I have spent much time disconnected (by my own choice) from the world I have always known. I feel so aware of who I am & happy to know that I am learning about my true authentic self in ways that my previous chapter of life would not afford me. I am thankful for the choice I made to jump & know that I will forever be marked by this adventure that is leading me deeper into a place of love, non-judgment, peace, joy, & grace for humanity. I miss people that are dear to me but I know that I carry them in my heart & will see them again in this life. They are amazing but I am learning that I have to be able to understand myself to love deeper. My capacity to love in a way that serves my dear friends & family & myself more is growing in ways that there are not words for. I am finding more of my authentic self & what it means to be real in myself.
There are so many things to write about that have happened thus far in 2017 & someday I will sit down & write out the details but right now I just wanted to put something out there as I end my last day at 31. This has been a year full of more than I could have imagined. I would have never dreamed that 31 would lead me on such an adventure on the depths of myself & the depths of humanity. I have learned to let go of the attachments that I once clung to so intensely. I now live presently in ways that I never knew possible. I see the world through new eyes that give people space to be where they are, understanding that I cannot help everyone & that everyone cannot be helped. The world is truly a mirror that reflects who we are back at us. We get to choose how we encounter & view the world daily. I have wiped the mirror cleaner than before so that I can see beauty & love in the midst of the grime of the human condition. I choose love, joy, peace, true freedom, knowing that all I could ever need lies deep within me if I will just take the time to see it & invest in it. I see hope in this life like never before & have learned so much more about the statement “We are not our minds, we are not our bodies, we are something far greater.” We GET to experience life & choose how that will look. All it really takes is learning to love ourselves deeply because no one else will ever love us the way we can love ourselves. As we love ourselves deeper we learn to love the world deeper. It is the hope that we can choose the life we want to live. It may be a process to get out of the muck we have allowed our programmed selves to live in but the journey is so worth it. Bad things may happen but learning to not be attached to that & to not let it define who you are & how you live is key.
“You are not your minds. You are not your body. You are something far greater.” – Everett Newell
Thank you to everyone who has supported this journey, who is apart of this journey, & everyone that is following my story. I would not have been able to do this without each of you. I saw so many “red flags” out of fear but each of you have encouraged me to stay the course & have told me I was not as crazy as I felt. I am beginning to understand this more & more daily.
I invite you to look deeply at your life & see where you are living out of a program that life has given you & choose to do the “crazy” things that you long for. Don’t let your mind tear down your dreams. Where there is a will there is a way so fight to move forward. Love yourself well. It may take some time to get there but it is possible. If you feel alone know that I love you & am here to support your “crazy” dreams & help you find the way to get there.
Here’s to the hope of living a fulfilled life. Here’s to being the hope by living a fulfilled life. Here’s to adventure even in the midst of the mundane. May we each find love, grace, joy, hope, & peace deep within ourselves & share it with the world every day. Here’s to 32 being an incredible continuation on my journey of life. May my journey create space for each of you to learn how to experience your life to the fullest.